Saturday, January 07, 2006

I've Got One Hand In My Pocket (and the other one is typing on the keyboard ü)

“I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah.”

Ever since Kid’s videoke birthday party two months ago, these lyrics have been ringing in my ears. (And it’s not just because I had made it my cellphone’s ringtone.ü)

“I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly baby.”


It is not, by any means, a new song. In fact, it is sooo ten years ago. Nevertheless, it perfectly captures where I am right now. It succinctly describes the two-fold reality that I find myself in.

“What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five.”

These past few months, I have been constantly traversing two paths, waltzing to and fro, just going with the flow…

…I’m on the tail end of one project, yet at the start of another one (and another one, and another one).

…Celebrating life, while trying to make a living.

…Catching up with kindred souls, but also catching up with work.

…Trying to enjoy where I am right now, yet striving to move toward where I want to be.

It’s funny, that for someone who sees herself as a stable, grounded, and focused individual, I am so comfortable with being so flighty, so caught in the temporary…so in between.

So “un-me.”

But the strange thing is, I feel more myself now than I ever was. More secure with my insecurities and “un-security” than in my previous state of security. More certain with the uncertainty of what is to come.

Perhaps I am a bit unrealistic. Or delusional. Or maybe, I’m really just a fan of the song. But I believe Alanis when she says:

“What it all comes down to, my friends
Is that everything's just fine, fine, fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab...”

Labels:

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Dot Dot Dot

I begin where I left off:

There are beginnings. There are endings. And then there are

continuities...


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

...and here we are once more
turning the page
before we could even
cross the t's

inserting terminal ink blots
where they do not belong
much like little black holes
in a white universe

i learned long ago
to just let the words come
and
breathe life
into themselves

and

spill over
to the next page
and to the next

in the their own time

for not everything
has to end
with a solitary
inkblot

not everything
has to end
when the old page
runs out

not everything
has to end...