...ellipses...

Today was supposed to be the day.

By this time, I would have been up on cloud nine, 30,000 feet above ground, and headed for a land that I’m bound to call "home" for the next two years of my life.

Instead, I’m right here on what I’d like to call “ground zero,” concerning myself with what I could keep busy with in the next two months.

It’s been four days since I— along with my Zambia-bound co-volunteers— received word that our date of departure (originally February 19) has been moved to middle of April. Apparently, our work permits are still being processed. With what I had been told regarding Zambian immigration, I was actually already anticipating a delay. What I did not count on was that the said delay would be that long.

Suddenly, I now find myself with time on my hands—a whole lot of time than I am used to having, such that it ceases to be a luxury already.

After the hurly burly of the past months in preparation for my departure, this, perhaps, is life’s way of telling me to be still. Be still to savour the gift of friends, family, and community. Be still to bask in the beauty of country. Be still to empty one’s self and, thus, be ready to be filled once more with the graces of new life, new work, and new adventure.

So, for whatever it’s worth, I still here…still making it work…still rolling with the punches…still embracing each new day as it comes.:)

Labels: Lacuna

Posted by pol at 10:01 PM | Permalink |

and here we sit
once more
under the golden gaze
of Aurora

c
a
t
c
h
ing
one breath
after (what seems to be)
an unending race
with time

overhead
a swirl of sights and sounds
beckons to be heeded

but we hold our ground

taking time
to dust off our feet
before we once again
play catch-up
with the
t
a
i
l end
of the wind.

Labels: Lacuna

Posted by pol at 11:02 PM | Permalink |

The news headline this morning states that “close to 14,000 people were displaced following typhoon Reming’s onslaught in the Bicol region and southern Luzon (Inq7.net).”

I’m thinking, there’s got to be more “displaced” people than that. And definitely, those affected aren’t just from Bicol, Mindoro or Batangas, but from nearby provinces as well. After all, being “displaced” does not just consist of having one’s home or property damaged. It also has something to do with not knowing where to go or what your next move should be, for fear that you’ll be the next victim of the storm’s rampage—never mind that the sun in actually shining bright outside and there’s nary a trace of the reportedly strong rains and winds brought about by the typhoon (in Metro Manila, that is). Just the thought of going through another Milenyo-like typhoon is enough to keep the average Pinoy cautious this time around. Just ask the residents of Malabon.

I, for one, am feeling sort of “displaced” right now. I’m supposed to be in Silang, Cavite today, attending a training course with my co-volunteers in VSO. But (no) thanks to Reming, the entire course was moved up one day (hence, it will start tomorrow, Saturday), on short notice. So after the frantic day I had yesterday trying to beat deadlines and attending to last minute stuff, here I am now, trying to pass the time until I board the bus to Silang. And since I’ve already psyched myself to attend that course beginning this morning, I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything else right now. I’m neither really here where my physical body is, nor really there where I am supposed to be.

Sure, the eye of the storm did not hit Metro Manila as originally forecasted, but it nevertheless managed to mess up with people’s schedules and to disrupt the normal course of our daily lives.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the middle of all this restlessness, W, a very good friend of mine called me all the way from Sydney, where she is attending a conference. Suddenly, I am glad that I am where I am. (If I had been in the seminar, I would not have been able to take her call.) And just like that, I am not feeling so “displaced” anymore.

Silver lining, anyone? ;)

Labels: Lacuna

Posted by pol at 12:33 PM | Permalink |

Can’t hardly wait.

Ever since that last second miracle play engineered by Coach Norman Black and the Blue Eagles last Sunday during Game 1 of the titular match between Ateneo and UST—and the frenzied celebration by the Blue and White faithful that came after—I couldn’t have been more pumped up for the 2^nd and, hopefully, the last game of the UAAP Season 69 finals series. And it’s not just me either. All week long, everybody and his/her mother has been gushing about that play, analyzing it, and—thanks to Youtube!—replaying the amazing turn of events over and over and over again. That perfectly executed play is the stuff that legends are made of, and has, indeed, earned its place in Ateneo basketball lore, along with the likes of Gec Chia’s “Hail Mary” shot (2002 Final 4 versus UE) and Larry Fonacier’s phenomenal pair of end-game blocks (2002 Finals Game 1 versus DLSU)—both of which were instrumental to Ateneo’s bid for the championship four years ago.

Hence, with all the excitement and anticipation building up for Game 2, my friends and I didn’t really mind devoting time to lining up for precious tickets, both at the Araneta and at the Blue Eagles Gym (and as early as 5:30 am at that!). September 28, Thursday, was blocked off on our calendars. Nothing—not even work or an impending sickness—would stop us from witnessing what could potentially be another historic moment for our team.

Or so we thought.

Apparently, as supporters of the Blue Eagles and the Growling Tigers were getting all hyped up to storm Araneta for what promises to be another down-the-wire duel, a super typhoon has been brewing near RP shores. By late Wednesday afternoon, Milenyo has announced its foray into the Philippine area of responsibility, with Metro Manila as one of its (near) direct hits, effectively putting on hold everything in the city—classes, work and, yes, Game 2 of the UAAP Finals.

Everything on pause. Everything in suspended animation.

After waiting all week for Thursday to come, this development was such a bummer! Talk about frustration. Aarrgh! But well, we have learned long ago that the force of nature is not to be messed with. All that could be done was to wait for 48 more hours—never mind that we had to spend more than half of that span of time in the dark due to the metro-wide blackout. I guess we’ll have to put Game 2 and, God-willing, the celebration of the championship on hold for two more days. For now, important things have to be dealt with—such as keeping safe, surviving the storm (and the dark?), and afterwards, cleaning up and restoring the damages caused by nature’s rampage.

On pause. Come to think of it, I’ve been in this very situation all these months. With all my previous commitments behind me, I started out the year eager at the prospect of qualifying for my "dream job". But as new and overlapping commitments started to pile up and overwhelm me, my chase of this “dream” (cheesy at it may sound) had to be put on pause for a while. Nevertheless, all that time, while I was I completing my work with several organizations, I never took my eyes off my ultimate goal. Eventually, I put in my application, and then had to wait some more...until I reached that final stage just last week. The results are still on hold, but I know it will come anytime now.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The thing with pauses is that they could go either way. On the one hand, it could break whatever momentum one has gained. On the other hand, it could give one the opportunity to focus some more and gather one’s energy for another spirited run. It could provide the much needed breathing space for a whispered prayer, a re-evaluation of self, or a restoration of strength and confidence to enable one to go the distance.

At the end of the day, however, it will all depend on the person—or the team—how he/she/it chooses to play the “on pause" card. This choice may very well prove to be crucial to how one will hold up in the face of a tempestuous storm--whether the storm may come in the form of nature's fury, a pressure-packed game, or even a personal quest toward the unknown.

Wow, I’m living in exciting times! On pause…but with so much to look forward to. And the best (and scary) thing about it is, once the pause button is released, and the proverbial clock begins to tick, it will be an all-out commitment...an all-out stand.

There will be no turning back.

Labels: In the Zone, Lacuna

Posted by pol at 11:32 PM | Permalink |