Not a lot of things could get me down.
Not even the long queues that I had to withstand yesterday under the scorching heat of the sun (while I was waiting for my NBI and police clearances to be processed) spoiled my day. Never mind that there were numerous inefficiencies in the whole “applying-for-your-clearance” process. And never mind that I got another bad case of sunburn—aggravating my already badly (read: unevenly) tanned skin owing to the past month’s activities, including the GK build that I joined four weeks ago, my Batangas trip with my balikbayan cousin last week, and my everyday commute under the RP sun. (At the rate I’m going, I think my mom’s dermatologist friend could be right—I might actually get skin cancer if I’m not more careful. But I digress.)
Things like physical discomfort or dealing with inadequate service in government offices are not new to me. After three decades of living in the Philippines, you get used to these things and you learn to cope. And if yesterday ended for me right after going through that “ordeal” of securing clearances from the local government, I still wouldn’t have considered it as a “bad day”—bad case of sunburn and all.
Towards the end of the day, however, the real “ordeal” began. I heard from a good friend who’s caught in an unenviable predicament. I really, really wanted to help, but I did not have the means to do so. Then, much later in the evening, I heard from another friend, likewise in dire circumstances. Once more, I was incapable of doing anything but pray.
It’s not the first time that this kind of thing happened, actually. I really don’t know what it is with this season, but since the month started, I’ve been hearing news from troubled friends, one after the other. How strange. And how sad.
In those previous occasions, I was able to take things in stride. Last night, however, it all somehow became very real to me. The whole time, my heart was beating louder and faster than usual, plus there was that huge lump on my throat that I had to bear with. I suppose part of my anxiety is borne out of knowing that I couldn’t do anything concretely to help even if I wanted to. That sense of helplessness and incapacity are, for me, some of the worst feelings in the world. In addition, I couldn’t help but think—“If it could happen to them, it could happen to anyone.” It is, I believe, the randomness of it all that makes it most daunting and that much harder to guard against.
Needless to say, last night was a very long night.
The funny thing is, I am typically a night person. I normally find solace in the rest and solitude that nighttide usually brings. But then again, last night was anything but normal as far as my two friends were concerned.
Hence, when the sun came up today, I welcomed it with open arms.
Doubts and perils of the night, be gone! I’d choose sunburn anytime.:)
Labels: Thicker than Blood
